You know its a bad review when…

Way back in december when people still cared about the prospects of Microsoft’s Zune, I commented on a CNN product review gone horribly wrong. At the time I didnt think it could get worse. Well I’ve been proven wrong. Its seems our British friends are putting their more refined use of the english language to work not in the creation of prose but in the more rarefied art of product bashing.

While looking into new phones I came across this review of the Samsung E900 in the Guardian (an excellent alternative to the crappy US newspaper fare). The review starts off with some self-effacing hilarity, moves on to snarky commentary and then quickly blossoms into full out bashing. Anytime someone uses the words “twittering handheld crapstones” to refer to your product, its not a good thing. I’ll end my musings with this sample of what rant is truly supposed to be:

It is lumbered with a bewildering array of unnecessary “features” aimed at idiots, including a mode that scans each text message and turns some of the words into tiny ani-mations, so if someone texts to say they have just run over your child in their car, the word “car” is replaced by a wacky cartoon vehicle putt-putting onto the screen. There is also a crap built-in game in which you play a rabbit (“Step into the role of Bobby Carrot – the new star of cute, mind-cracking carrot action!”).

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